Personal Growth

It’s hard being a single mom.
It’s especially hard being a single mom of a boy with special needs.

A year ago I would have added that it’s hard to ask for help. A year ago I would have tried to do everything on my own. A year ago I would have cried myself into a panic out of frustration. A year ago I would have yelled at the world questioning what I did to deserve to go through this alone.

Everyone is always telling me how strong I am. I smile and reply “I’m just doing what I have to.” The truth is, I don’t always know how to deal with life. I don’t always know how to process my emotions. I don’t know how to take care of myself. I wasn’t being strong. I was simply ignoring the existence of everything that was breaking me. The only thing I truly know how to do is put my son first. No matter how I feel I always put my son first. How was I going to continue to care for my son if I wasn’t caring for myself?

This year I admitted to myself that I wasn’t okay. I took the first step to becoming a better me.
More importantly a better mother.

Today in a situation that would have caused panic a year ago, I was strong enough to call for help. I called for help as my son was calmly laying in a mess we had both tried to avoid. I called my mom while trying to figure out where to start.

Today I am proud to accept asking for help as one of my strengths.
Today I made it through a stressful situation without breaking down.
I no longer feel like a helpless single mom.
I am no longer too proud to ask for help from the people that have always been here for me.

It doesn’t always have to be hard.

One thought on “Personal Growth

  1. You are the strongest person I know! You’ve faced more adversity than any one person should ever have to and all with a few short years. Never question your strength….ever! Just because you have moments of uncertainty or have an emotional day, those aren’t signs of weakness but merely normal responses to the weight the world puts on you sometimes. You’re so use to being strong that when these very human moments happen you view them as being weak, but really you’re just being human. And you’re allowed to have those moments and still be strong.

    Love you, m’lady.

    Liked by 1 person

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